6/23/2009

SEX USED FOR POWER?

There was an article in this morning’s paper that caught my eye.

“Carmel city leader used sex for power, suit alleges”

I found this especially interesting because I had been contemplating installing some panels and using solar energy for power. I had never thought of this angle.

It turns out that there was someone suing a city manager because he “allegedly” gave special favors to younger attractive women.

Can you imagine that such a thing could happen?

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 23,2009

6/07/2009

A POSSIBLE EQUIPMENT ADDITION

The other day I happened to park my car in one of those unusual parking spaces. It was a narrow street and cars were parked on each side at a 90 degree angle. It makes it difficult to back out but I have a rear view mirror plus another one on each side. I also have a backup camera which shows what’s directly behind me and of course I can always look out the rear window.

Yet, this time I started to slowly back out and felt all was going to be all right until I looked out the front window and saw a woman on the sidewalk who looked like this.










I slammed on my brakes and the other car did too. Our bumpers just kissed.

I’m wondering if there couldn’t be some way for this lady to be standard equipment. Possibly as a hood ornament?

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 07, 2009

6/06/2009

A FRIEND IN THE GARAGE

When I was teaching I had occasion to make thousands of “Instruction Sheets”. These were step-by-step instructions for doing a particular task and it was important they be extremely detailed and impossible to misunderstand. I haven’t done this in years but will try one here that you might find interesting.

INTRODUCTION

Many people lack good depth perception and this often results in hitting the back wall when driving the car into the garage. THARP, (The Home Accident Reporting Agency), announced last year that a new record of 35,664 garages in 38 different countries were damaged this way.
Many people have discovered the HTB (Hanging Tennis Ball) method which helps even though it looks bit silly to see a tennis ball hanging in midair when there is no car in the garage. I have developed a special HTB that helps with that.

Step 1
Get an old tennis ball and find some way to hang it from some higher spot in the garage. I used a screw-eye and string.
Locate it so the ball just touches the windshield when the car is parked in the proper space.
Step 2
Get a felt pen and draw a Smiley face on the ball.
To further enhance the appearance go to Step 3

Step 3
Find some fuzzy material and cut out eyebrows that will be above the eyes you drew on the tennis ball. I used the fuzzy half of a bit of black Velcro® but it’s important that they be above the eyes of the HTB as it is hanging.

Step 4
Fasten eyebrows on Smiley’s Face ON THE TENNIS BALL
Step 5
Use 2 white pins used for dressmaking to create the pupils of Smiley’s eyes. Use 1 pin in each of THE EYES YOU DREW ON THE TENNIS BALL.
Step 6
Insert a red thumb tack between the eyes and the mouth to serve as Smiley’s nose ON THE TENNIS BALL.
Step 7
Step back and be prepared for the compliments you will receive. If, by some rare chance, you don’t receive any compliments let me know. I’ll send you a compliment.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 06, 2009

6/05/2009

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

Curiouser and curiouser?
If one reads Alice in Wonderland one would find this line:

“'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English).”

Yesterday I posted a blog where I apologized for offending anyone with something I had written and I received an unusually large number of responses encouraging me and I appreciated that. However, my original critic also posted another comment. I have no idea why she would want to revisit a place that offended her so but she did leave another comment which ended with, “Overly sensitive greetings from Germany!”

Now here is another unusual thing. As some of you know I am 86 years old and as such have probably read a million or more sentences and have composed a few hundred thousand more and that is the first time I have ever seen the words “sensitive” and “Germany” in the same sentence.

Curiouser and curiouser.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 05, 2009

Footnote: Please don’t think I believe that it’s impossible for the words “Germany” and “sensitive” to go together. It’s just that I’ve never seen it. The combination probably has been made several times, someplace.

6/04/2009

AN APOLOGY

I had something happen to me that I found unusual.

I posted a blog and almost immediately received a comment from a lady who found it very offensive. Since it is certainly not my desire to offend anyone I removed it immediately. Of course, I had no way to apologize to this anonymous lady.

I had, playfully I thought, proposed that the exercise equipment we know as a treadmill was inherently evil and based on a recent infant death in the news, I proposed the elimination of the treadmill and even had “Wanted” poster offering a reward.

I thought it mildly humorous and certainly not offensive but I’ve learned if someone perceives it as offensive it is, of course, offensive. If there are others out there who found it to be so, I apologize to them too.

I also sympathize with them. It must be tough living in today’s world with such a sensitive attitude.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 04, 2009